Now, as those of you who follow my twitter will know, my kitty has been in the vets again, but he came home last night.  He’s got a check-up later, but hopefully he’s all good now.

But I’m not going to ramble on about my kitty, or the fun I had over the weekend in this post, I’ve got something a lot more specific in mind to write about today!!

This morning, kaya posted a couple of new pics on her profile on fetlife and on her blog, and one of these really spoke to me.  No, not the one of her covered in chocolate and sprinkles (although, that did obviously inspire me to want to lick it all off her), but the one of her holding a board up under her tits.  Which had been nailed to the board.

One thing that really struck me about the picture, was how calm her face appears to be.  There is slight tension, but overall, she looks….. well, accepting.

Being nailed to a board is something that’s been on my mind since I first got into bdsm.  It’s always struck me as such a powerful image, to hold myself there while someone nails me to a board.  I did something similar on my first ever shoot with ThePainFiles

But it was needles, not nails, and to me there is a big difference between the two.  Needles are designed to cut through the flesh, nails aren’t. The needles were all placed through my flesh, then i was leant forwards and they were pressed into the board beneath me.  Slightly different to the brutality of nails being hammered through unwilling flesh.

One day, I hope to try nailing.  Talking to W today, he is interested in doing it, but it’s not something I’m ready for.  Maybe it’s something we can build up to, using progressively larger needles, but I think in reality, nothing can prepare you fully for an experience like this.  You just have to decide and go for it.

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Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience?  If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.

Wow, that was quite some time ago!! Soon after I realised that I was submissive, I signed up on all the usual dating sites – alt.com, bondage.com, etc.  I was swamped by emails, but one guy caught my eye.  He enjoyed school role play and spanking, and due to our age difference (he was in his 50′s) thought that this might be quite fun to explore.  I agreed, and after some negotiaion and explaining that this was my first experience of anything like this, (and meeting in a public place first, with safecalls etc in place) I headed to his to play.

The thing I remember the most was that I was SOOOOOOOOOO nervous.  I was incredibly shy and very scared of the idea of meeting new people.  But I got there, and after a bit of chatting, He showed me around his toy collection, he had lots of paddles, and straps and tawse, and all sorts of things which scared the hell outta innocent little me.  I then changed into one of his school uniforms and prepared for a simple role play – I was going to the headmaster’s office because i’d forgotten my homework, or something like that.

I dont remember any details of the actual play.  I assume it hurt.  I might have cried.  But I do know that afterwards I wanted more.  I went back and played with him a couple more times and I always wanted more afterwards.

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Do you guys have plans for the weekend? No?  I do!!

Seeing as how i’m having a rare weekend at home, I’m planning on making the most of it and having lots and lots of fun on cam!!

Go check out my schedule and see where you can fit me in to your weekend!

http://refer.adultwork.com/?R=940339&T=940339

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My pain tolerance seems to be varying wildly at the moment, and I’m not sure why, but I’m definately enjoying it!

I know that part of it is probably that I’m back to playing regularly after an extended break, but I’m not sure it’s entirely that.  My tastes are changing as well.  I used to really love a nice heavy flogging on my back.  Lots of thud and no sting.  The other day W and I decided that a nice flogging was in order and I was really looking forward to it, but after He began, it became clear that it wasn’t going to be the enjoyable experience we had been looking forward to.  Honestly, it bored me.

After a little bit of talking,  we tried something else – a nice stingy cat.  And wow, it felt good.  Hard strokes with time to process the pain in between.  Just a couple of strokes and I was flying.  Taking an amount of pain I would usually scream and fight through, with just a deep breath on each stroke.  No noise, no screams, just feeling it flow through me.  Only on the final stroke did I break, knowing it was over, I sobbed.  It was an amazing feeling and I felt wonderful afterwards.

But this is becoming more of a usual thing for me.  Any “warm up” just bores me and annoys me.  I want hard strokes from the start, with time to process in between.  And then it’s not long before I’m asking for it harder, harder, harder. The past few times that W has caned me, I’ve wanted more and more and more – he had to call a stop long before I would.

I don’t know why this change is happening, maybe it is because I am looking towards the judicial caning we are planning on doing.  One of our favourite clubs has a demo every month, and we are talking to the owner about doing a judicial caning demo.  I am definately very excited about doing it, at the moment, more excited than scared, though I know the scared will hit soon.  I’m looking forward to being able to take how ever many strokes I’m told, and I want to take them as calmly as possible with as little noise as possible.  I know that might not happen, I might be screaming from the first stroke……. but the way my pain threshold is going at the moment…. who knows!!!

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Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

The only early hints towards any of my kinks was a fascination with pee when I was very young.   I would find any way I could to play with pee, and include my friends in it.  At the time, it seemed perfectly natural, but looking back, it all makes sense!!

I was never one of the sort of girls who tied up their barbies or anything like that, so it kinda came as a shock when I realised I was kinky.

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Well, what a weekend it’s been!!  For those of you outside the UK who dont know, this weekend was a bank holiday.  That generally means that we get an extra day off, so we all decided to make the most of it!!  There was lots and lots of fun, but I figure I’ll just sum it up in a selection of photos.

W and I did some nice heavy caning.  Good and hard from pretty much cold!!!

I really didn’t want it to stop, but He made the call to stop, as it was getting close to drawing blood.

I didn’t look too marked up the following morning.

R and I went out on our first date on Sunday night.  She was dressed up very prettily, and I decided to go a bit more “butch”.  It was an interesting experience, that I’m sure I will muse on in time!

Monday night gave me the chance to stick some needles in The Crazy Lady.  It came out a little bit more messy than I’d hoped, but still pretty, and she really enjoyed it!!

Unfortunately, the lighting didn’t show off the blood to the fullest when the needles came out, but believe me, there was LOTS!!!!!!!

So, what did you all get up to this weekend?

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Well, for me at least.  There was plenty of spanking for Clover!

You might remember way, way back in December I had a shoot with the lovely people from Northern Spanking. Well, another of the movies we shot has been released on the site this week, and I have to say it is fantastic!!!  You might think I’m being slightly biased by saying that, seeing as how I’m in it, but I actually wasn’t in (and therefore, didn’t see) the majority of the film.

The film in question is called The Girl Next Door and was written by Paul Kennedy.  Paul is a big fan of the Blushes magazines and this movie was very much inspired by that style.  Clover and I have been skipping classes and get found out. We return to Clover’s house, where we are questioned by Stephen Lewis, who makes Clover tell me what happens when she’s bad.  The answer is that she gets spanked!  I’m sent home and Clover heads upstairs for her punishment.

Sounds good so far?

This is where it gets a bit different.  While Clover is getting spanked over Stephen’s knee, I’m next door listening.

The whole thing is beautifully edited by the wonderfully talented Lucy McLean and is definately a case where the whole is better than the parts it’s made of.

If you want to see this (and many, many more fantastic spanking movies and photo sets) head over to Northern Spanking!!

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Yesterday, R, W and I spent some nice time playing with needles.  We started out with me piercing R’s back.  I did a row of blues down her left shoulder, and then a semi-circle on her right shoulder.  R doesn’t like the sensation of the needles going in, but she loves what can be done with them once they are in.  Brushing along them makes her giggle, pulling on them makes her moan.

W and I spent a long time playing with the needles she had in, seeing what responses we could get out of her.  It was great fun, because usually she doesn’t get very spacey, but she definately did last night when we were pulling on all the needles in her back.

But then it was time for the finale……  We removed the needles from her back and helped R to sit down on the floor, and W turned his attention to me.  He started with a couple of small needles in my breasts, and then went up to a thicker one in preparation for what was about to come.  Then he gave the same to R.  Turning to sit and face each other, R and I relaxed while W attached the needles between us, putting tension on the cord that linked us.  Then the real fun began.  We held hands and gently leaned away from each other.

The feeling was peaceful and pure bliss.  We pulled, and relaxed, and pulled, and relaxed…..

It was such a feeling, and definately something that we all want to do again!!

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Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

I discovered I was into D/s before I discovered I was into kink.

I was seeing a vanilla guy when I was at college.  He was lovely and did whatever I wanted him to.  But to be honest, I was a little bit bored of that.  One of the things I knew that he was really not into was three-somes.  So I decided I wanted a threesome. (Yes, I know.  I’m a bitch.  But looking back, I realised that I just wanted him to put his foot down and say no.  And I was going to keep on pushing until he did.)

So…….. He agreed to having a threesome and I started browsing various dating sites looking for a suitable girl to join us.  While I was browsing, I discovered the profile of a girl who described herself as submissive.  She went into some detail of what that meant to her.  She also linked to the profile of a man she described as her Master.  I read his profile and I suddenly realised what had been missing in my relationships up to that point.  I wanted someone who was strong enough to tell me “no” when needed.  I didn’t want to be getting my way all the time.

From there onwards, I read all I could about D/s and started to learn more about what it meant.  It was only then that I started learning about the bdsm side of things and the “kink”.  I am still learning  about how kinky I am, because that is something that is constantly changing.

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It seems like quite some time since Magick first let me loose on one of his models to rig a photo set for him, but I really enjoyed the chance he gave me, cos I love rigging cute girls!!

One of the first sets I did was a (slightly rediculous, yet sexy) set with the lovely Emily Sharp.

You can find more from this set, and from both myself and Emily on ThePainFiles

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